What the Wise Wife Knows

unhappy husband

Otis Redding’s “Call Me Mister Pitiful” describes the poor slob in the conjugal bed making sperm by the billions, lying next to a wife who has no interest, no empathy and no tolerance for intimacy. The wise wife knows better. She brings relief faster than Alka-Seltzer and in less than a commercial break he becomes one happy camper. Who cares if it’s fake? It’s genuine enough and well worth the effort for any woman to get her way.

On September 19th 2011, CNN reported that the women in a village in Mindanao, Philippines got their men to do their bidding with a sex strike. It worked because men will do anything for sex.

We are created equal but different. And the difference in our sexual appetites leaves little basis for an even-steven argument. The disparity in libidos may very well be a kind of reverse oogamy to balance things out. In any event, women in dereliction of their wifely duty often use the excuse that conjugal lust is nothing more than a male perversion that objectifies women. But the wise wife knows better. She knows that when the embers wane, it’s time to fan the flame and no amount of talking can suffice for blowing. So pucker up ladies, time’s a wasting.

Men might be promiscuous by nature but they are notoriously lazy in love and will not expend one iota of energy chasing women if they are happy in the conjugal bed. The wife that keeps up her end of the bargain clearly appreciates the beauty in the elegant simplicity of the solution as illustrated by the story: a wife, agonizing over the remoteness of her husband, out of desperation, initiates sex and finds that he is as passionate as ever, but afterward is distant again. The next day she looked in his diary “Boat won’t start, can’t figure it out, but at least I got laid.”

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